If you care about a good relationship with your in-laws, show them respect and heart. Remember that a bad relationship with them will always cast a shadow on your marriage. And don’t be surprised. After all, they are your life partner’s parents.
None of us were found in a cabbage patch. You wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for your parents, just as your partner wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for your in-laws. For that reason alone, it’s important to show them respect and try to make your relationship with them as good as possible. How to cultivate a good relationship with your in-laws?
Show respect to your in-laws
Parents are very important in everyone’s life. Your in-laws have given birth to the person with whom you share your life. You owe them respect by being careful with your words and comments, controlling your attitude and expressions, avoiding conflict and jumping to conclusions.
Don’t forget that by disrespecting your in-laws, in one way or another, you are hurting your other half. Whether you want it or not, they are the ones who conceived and raised your partner, and one way or another you will not avoid dealing with them.
Don’t compare your parents with your in-laws
Every parent is different and raised their children according to their own beliefs. So both you and your life companion grew up in a different atmosphere. Just because you received a different upbringing does not mean that one is better than the other, or that your parents are better than your partner’s parents.
The way our parents raised us was a product of their personal experiences and histories. Your partner’s upbringing is also the sum of the circumstances and knowledge your parents accumulated. So be understanding of their actions and avoid scurrilous comparisons.
Strive for harmony in your relationship with your in-laws
Bad relations with in-laws will always affect your partner, even if he himself does not have a warm relationship with his parents. Coldness in the relationship with the in-laws will always cause him worries. Therefore, for the sake of marital relationship and harmony, agree to make concessions as long as the behavior of your in-laws is not unacceptable.
Good relations in marriage require efforts and compromises, so sometimes it is worth making concessions in the name of preserving family relations.
Set boundaries for your in-laws
Above, we talked about making concessions. However, everything has its limits and you need to draw them to keep the relationship healthy and trouble-free.
It is important to realize that a marital relationship is a matter of two people who share a relationship. The in-laws do not have the right to decide on their affairs. You can listen to what they have to say, but the decision belongs to the spouses. So you need to set clear boundaries so that it does not occur to them to interfere in the family affairs or the couple’s way of life. But set boundaries wisely, always in consultation with your partner, and be sure to have respect and dialogue.
Get to know your in-laws
It is difficult to build a good relationship with someone you do not know well. It’s unfair to follow stereotypical labels without first getting to know who your in-laws are. So, open up to your in-laws, show interest in them, find out what they like to do, what interests they have. This will definitely pay off with a warmer relationship.
Once you get to know your in-laws well, you will find it easier to establish a healthy relationship with them. You’ll also find it easier to avoid conflict, should it arise, or to deal with it without upsetting anyone.
Talk to your partner
If something is bothering you in your relationship with your in-laws, it’s best to talk about it with your life partner, remembering to be respectful and tactful. Together, you can discuss the problem and try to find a solution before it escalates.
Dialogue in a relationship is most important. Not only does it help relieve tension, but it also teaches you to be more open in your partnership. Dialogue will also be an ideal basis for setting a boundary for your in-laws.
Keep a careful distance
The only way a marriage can live its own life without feeling pressure from your in-laws is to keep a careful distance.
So from time to time, you can have dinner together, pay them a visit or do an out of town trip together. This is very healthy and even necessary. However, in-laws must not dominate married life.
This is especially important when the couple has a child. Many in-laws, consciously or not, interfere with family life when grandchildren come along. Many of them, citing their age and experience, even allow themselves to be criticized and try to impose their own agenda.
Such behavior should be nipped in the bud. Grandparents are always welcome, but their involvement and views must be limited.
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