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Most people have been betrayed by a partner at least once in their lives. This experience cannot be forgotten, but everyone experiences betrayal differently – some forgive, others leave.

Is it possible to rebuild the relationship knowing that nothing will be the same as before?

1. Betrayal is not uncommon

First of all, realize that infidelity happens quite often. More often than most people might expect. This is not necessarily comforting, but a betrayed woman or man should realize that many other wives, husbands and fiancés have been, are and will be in this situation.

Moreover, many relationships that have dealt with infidelity in their relationship turn out to be strong enough to survive. Of course, it is difficult to imagine a situation in which the cheater admits to the infidelity and the partner or partner quickly forgives and forgets about the whole tragedy. Such behavior would indicate a lack of feelings in the relationship and would encourage the unfaithful culprit to take another ”leap into the side.

2. Identify what betrayal is

It is very important to define what the boundaries are in a relationship. What a partner can go as far as in relationships with other people they find attractive. For some people, a kiss on the cheek or a flirt during a meeting together is already a betrayal.

We need to think about the reasons for exaggerated jealousy, which can sometimes motivate “real” betrayal. Sometimes the betrayal is more psychological than physical, which can be even more painful. A man may have platonic feelings for another woman. Then it is generally difficult to prove anything to him.

Photo: Nik Shuliahin/Unsplash

3. Where to look for the reasons of infidelity?

Once the biggest emotions have subsided, take a close look at how your relationship has been over the past few months. Ask yourself if the passion has died down and routine has set in? Has your life been filled with responsibilities and boredom? Or have there been problems that are difficult to solve?

It is hard to be understanding when you find out that the person who meant – and probably still means – so much to you has found something in someone else that you lack. It is worth noting here that such thinking is often wrong, because betrayal does not necessarily involve fascination with another person. Sometimes it is a simple impulse, and when it is all over, all the charm disappears. Then the reason for the behavior is generally a desire to temporarily forget about problems, stress or lack of interest in the relationship.

If infidelity is the result of a longer fascination with another person, the reasons can be much more serious. The loss of feelings in the relationship and the relationship “on the side” with someone who is not a casual partner hurts the most. However, even in these cases, you can find yourself and build a more mature and differently focused relationship.

4. Identify your feelings

If you want to deal with betrayal, you can’t avoid talking. The person betrayed, but also the one who betrayed, must be honest, both with themselves and with their partner. Mutual accusations and grudges are bound to arise, and arguments will occur

No one can decide for you if you want to continue the relationship or if all is lost. It’s up to you and your partner to decide how to move on together – it’s unlikely that you’ll ever go back to the way things were, but sometimes it can be worth thinking about the next stage of your relationship, perhaps a more responsible and fulfilling one.

5. Psychological help

Do you feel that you have outgrown the problem of infidelity in your relationship? This is not unheard of, as infidelity is undoubtedly one of the most painful experiences in life. Taking advice from friends and family members is not always a good idea.

It is better to opt, for example, for couples therapy, where you can learn a lot both about the relationship and about yourself. It is also worth consulting a psychologist if you do not want to save the relationship. You don’t have to be left alone with a broken heart!

Photo: Pexels/Alex Green

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Lilliana Ross

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