Man is already so constructed that he is not able to nourish passion for another person for a long time. Physiologists explain this by a decrease in the production of hormones responsible for the state of infatuation. Their place is taken by other substances, providing stability, friendship, respect and long-lasting feelings
Experiences gradually lose their sharpness – a fact that you do not necessarily have to accept. Nature has equipped man with intellect and will, so with equal commitment from both partners, the old flame can be rekindled.
Scientists note that in long-term happy relationships, personal growth in addition to friendship plays a considerable role. This phenomenon is even described by theself-expansion theory. It states that when partners motivate each other to develop interests and gain new experience, it strengthens their love and fuels their passion.
The self-expansion model also shows that taking on challenges together brings your ideas about the world and how to have a happy and successful relationship to a new level. So travel, learn something together, run a business together, etc.
Every new experience provides a boost to the brain and stimulates our dopamine system. It doesn’t have to be an ambitious project like founding a startup or traveling to the other side of the world.
What can you do? Make small gifts for each other, change where you go for walks, or find a hobby together. Introduce something new to your sex life: if you usually make love in bed, why not try bath sex? If you have made love in the evening, why not try it in the morning?
Solving problems together activates the production of oxytocin and vasopressin, hormones that reinforce feelings of attachment. According to the theory of self-expansion, in close relationships there is no division between “your” and “my” problems, which means that partners are always ready to support each other. Don’t blame common problems on your partner. Help each other overcome difficulties and don’t hesitate to ask for help.
As strange as it sounds, in order to fall in love with someone all over again, you need a relationship reset. In psychological terms, this means catching your breath in the relationship and taking a breath of fresh sensations and emotions. To do this, try spending time apart a little more often – take short trips, meet up with friends, indulge in a hobby
The most important thing is that you both spend your free time equally intensely. Otherwise, only one of you will have fun, and the other – sit at home and feel frustrated.
Daily dinners at the kitchen table, washing dishes together or watching movies in front of the TV are typical components of family life that unfortunately kill any romance. Therefore, make an agreement with your partner that you break these patterns from time to time – for example, you go to a cafe or restaurant for dinner in the middle of the week, you go to the cinema more often in the evenings or you arrange a meeting with friends at your home.
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